Watch Jody Day, the founder of Gateway Women (and Gateway Elderwomen) interviewing Sue Fagalde Lick, the author of No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s, published June 25th 2024 by SheWritesPress and available online and in bookstores. More info on Sue’s website and she’s also on Instagram @suefagaldelick and on Substack as @suelick
Sue is 72 and the author of the memoir & blog Childless by Marriage, the collection Love or Children: When You Can’t Have Both, and a wonderful series of novels (beginning with Up Beaver Creek) featuring her inspiring and relatable childless heroine, ‘P.D.’, as well as journalism & poetry. A musician, writer and singer, she’s childless due to her second husband not wanting to have (more) children and is a regular and much-loved panellist on Gateway Women’s ‘Fireside Wisdom with Childless Elderwomen‘ sessions. Sue lives alone in a rural Oregon location, and writes about being a ‘solo ager’ on her Substack: ‘Can I Do It Alone?
I was lucky enough to review the book ahead of publication, and it moved me deeply:
“No Way Out of This is not just a memoir about the experience of caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s, it’s also a loving account of a joyful marriage cut short. Like me, Sue is a childless-not-by-choice woman now ageing without children, and her experience of caring and advocating for Fred illustrates the daily, monthly and annual effort that goes into supporting someone with a chronic or terminal illness. In sometimes heartbreaking detail, Sue shows us how care is about so much more than feeding and bathing; it’s about the logistical, administrative and common-sense tasks of daily living that most of us give little thought to while we are still able to live independently. Fred had adult children, yet they were hardly involved over his nine-year decline, mostly leaving Sue to carry an almost intolerable burden, one so severe that it took her to dangerously low points in her own mental and financial health. This is an essential and beautiful memoir about the reality of loving and caring for a partner with Alzheimer’s, about the broken and confused state of both private and state-funded caring institutions, about the loneliness of the ambiguous loss of losing your partner long before they die, and about how even the deepest love can only do so much.”
Sue will be reading a short extract and then we’ll chat about it. There will be a 15-minute Q&A with the author and you are welcome to send your questions in ahead of time (there’s a place to do this on this registration form), or ask them on the webinar (you will remain off-screen and anonymous).
Gateway Women Masterclasses are free, live & recorded conversations with the leading writers, therapists, activists, healers, community-creators, bloggers, thought-leaders and change-makers in the childless community globally. To watch previous GW Masterclasses click here. To sign up to future free GW Masterclasses, click here.
