SIGN UP FOR ONLINE BEE 2021

The 2021 Online Bee starts again in late Spring 2021 and opens for enrollment soon!
Click here to email us and we will notify you as soon as pre-enrollment opens!

It's time to create a life that feels good again because sometimes...
  • You’re terrified that you’re just going to ‘exist’ rather than ‘live’ the rest of your life…
  • You sometimes feel like a failure as a woman for not becoming a mother and are scared that you’re not really capable of having a ‘Plan B’, whatever the heck that is!
  • Your work bores you to tears these days but it feels like it’s all you’ve got so you hang on in there even whilst dying inside each time you have to deal with yet another office pregnancy…
  • You’re struggling to give a damn about your health, fitness and wardrobe any more and feel older than your years…
  • You hate being the ‘odd one out’ around your friends and siblings: either feeling angry when you’re not included in ‘family-friendly’ stuff, or distressed and freakish when you are…
  • You’re furious that you ‘did all the right things’ that your mother, school and society said you ‘should’ and look where it got you?!
  • You’re exhausted and uninspired about your life and feel that your thwarted dreams of motherhood have left you a hollowed-out husk without an ounce of energy or imagination left…
  • And at the back of your mind, sometimes you worry about becoming one of those friendless old women who dies alone and is eaten by her cats…
If this sounds like you some days, then 2021 is definitely the year to join the Online Bee, Gateway Women's unique, ground-breaking, life-changing Plan B Mentorship Program and change the record!

Perhaps you’ve wanted to change aspects of your life before and have found it very hard and are thinking that this won’t work either? Maybe you feel that surviving childlessness is quite enough to deal with on a daily basis in a world gone motherhood-mad and that the idea of ‘thriving’ or ‘having a Plan B’ all seems like a bit too much to consider?

That’s why this programme is so special as it understands where you’re starting from and very gently guides you, month by month, towards a new way of inhabiting your life as a childless woman. Created by Jody Day, author of the best-selling Living the Life Unexpected, psychotherapist and founder of Gateway Women, and refined over several years of working with groups of women like, you, it’s based on her experience of recreating her life after the heartbreak and identity loss of childlessness and that of the thousands of women she’s worked with.

One of the major concerns many of us have about finding our Plan B is that we have no idea what it might be – and that’s absolutely fine (and perfectly normal!) Because, you see, Plan B isn’t really a ‘thing’, it’s just a shorthand way of describing getting from where you are now to a place where you feel at peace, fulfilled, purposeful and excited about your life and future again. (It’s just shorter to write!) Doing so isn’t a straightforward path for any of us, but there are definitely things that can help, and that’s what this program is for. It works, and here’s your chance to find out why.


The Online Bee costs GBP £195, USD $250 or EUR €215 per month, payable in advance quarterly/annually. Other currencies accepted and converted automatically. Click here to email us with your questions or to express your interest and we'll answer them and let you know when enrollment opens!

 

The Online Bee is an incredible course giving us further insight into coming to terms with, or having a deeper understanding of, the grief and life of being childless not by choice. Whatever stage you are at, you will benefit. This compassionate experience has changed me for the better and I'm learning how to give myself the compassion I need. You are supported and encouraged to go at your own pace and the assurance that we can continue to have access to the course materials after the end was very important to me. I feel humbled and privileged to have met a diverse international group of sister Bees - our tribe - and maintaining those links in our private community remains vital for me. I love the unexpected humour that often arose (and still arises!) and found that it didn't diminish our challenges but actually just gave us an opportunity to breathe. I feel honoured to have shared this journey with like-minded souls who really understand what has brought us together - we have explored so much together and grown both as individuals and as a group. Thank you for creating this life enhancing course that really continues far onwards past the first year.

 

I can honestly say that the Online Bee has been life-changing. It was easy to think 'How is this going to help, nothing else has'. But if you're reading this, and feel at absolute rock bottom, please have faith and sign up. And if you’re not an online type of person (and I definitely wouldn’t class myself as one!), don’t be daunted by the technical side of things, it really is surprisingly straightforward! The online discussions around the topics each month are so powerful in helping to unpack the layers and complexity of our grief, and it's surprising how many common threads there are, even those with very different stories to our own. Doing your grief work is far from easy but you will be steered through it by the course and supported by the most amazing group of wise, strong, powerful inspirational ladies. The year has changed how I view my life ahead now - I no longer feel angry about my childlessness and I now know it is possible to have a meaningful life without children. And the power of having a group of ladies who understand and 'get' you is hard to describe. Have courage and sign up - you truly won’t regret it. It may well turn out to be one of the best things you have ever done.

 

When I signed up for the Online Bee, I was walking around with a broken heart, a million tiny pieces. And now, after this year, those pieces are held together by a web of love, called belonging, and my heart now is a beautifully cracked mosaic living window that grief and love and joy all flow through. I'm a single teacher, and financially it was a real commitment, and also one of the best decisions I've made in my life. People always say "my life will never be the same" and I wish I had a better phrase, but the real truth is that my life, which was a painful disaster internally, is deeply changed for the better and I, with deep gratitude, know that I will never be the same.

 

The Online B course has changed my life. I have been able to grieve my childlessness in a secure and safe environment with other women facing the same challenge. Thoughts I had consciously or subconsciously been walking around with for many many years were all of a sudden out in the open. It finally allowed me to acknowledge the layers of complexity of living a childless life and work through the layers of grief related to the many losses associated. Working through the grief has been a revelation. I am crawling out at the end of the tunnel and seeing possibilities for a purposeful life. I have regained my mojo and energy. I look forward to what will become possible the next decades ahead. I am no longer being held hostage to unprocessed grief. I feel free. You have been an absolutely amazing support through this. I feel very grateful to have been able to gain insights through your wisdom. Also, I have found working with a forum of women a most profound and effective way to deal with grief around childlessness. It’s been loving and touching but also has generated results as in moving forward on the journey of processing grief. Ultimately that is what I wanted, getting out of ‘being stuck’. Thank you!

 

he Online Bee course was a life-changing experience. I could never have imagined that an online course could do this. But with the smart online-tutorials, exercises and videos and the connection to my fellow "Bees" from all around the world the Online Bee is really something I would recommend to any childless woman in a heartbeat. So many facets: Jody's wisdom and experience in her videos, the  personal feedback to our comments, questions, fears and grief. The way the course was designed to help us built up a community of women who now can support each other and are friends - even now the course has ended - is amazing. We now share a common language and common practices that will guide us in the future. The Online Bee is a safe space to process our situations, our setbacks, our successes and everything in between. I am looking forward to seeing where our Bee-group is heading and where we'll find ourselves at our first, second and every other anniversary to come. Thank you so much.

Even MORE Testimonials from past 'Bees' (are you getting how amazing this course is yet?!)
  • I signed up for the Online Bee course without hesitation but I had a lot of doubts that first month. Did I really need to revisit this old wound of infertility? Did I really think an online course would give me the connection and support I might need? Did I have the energy to do all the work? But the understanding, compassion and clarity that I received kept me going that month and through the remainder of the program, allowing me to transform my life in a way I didn’t even realize was needed or possible. I thought I had worked through the grief of my infertility and failed adoptions but I didn’t understand the ongoing cultural impact and sense of shame I struggled with on a daily basis. It had become my new normal and I kept my focus on everyone else to the detriment of my own wellbeing. By the time I turned 50 I was feeling quite alone inside even though I had a full life on the outside. This all changed when I connected with my Bee community and worked through Jody’s program, a combination of exercises and resources for moving through this particular kind of grief and presented with the right mix of humor and practicality. By the end of the program I had moved mountains in my life and so had all my new community of Online Bees. Jody has created a program that will change women’s lives and I recommend you don’t hesitate to sign up if you have the chance. (Evelyn, 51: USA)

 

  • When I signed up for the Online Bee I felt I had a lot of unresolved issues around childlessness. I wasn’t even sure how to articulate these, as I lacked opportunities to share them. At 47 I was still hanging on to the possibility that maybe a miracle could still happen, whilst also knowing I needed to find a way to let go. The course helped me find my voice, tell my story, start to grieve for all that felt lost, and search for new meaning. And I learnt how to navigate all this with more self-compassion than I’ve ever had in my life. Having a place to share fears, frustrations, sadness, confusion, to both give and receive support within an incredibly supportive group, is a very powerful thing. I found it amazing the connections which could be built through an online programme and actually, I think it suited me better, to be able to do things at my own pace and to feel less inhibited than I might have done in person. I have started to be able to look ahead with a wiser mind, and to face issues around money and ageing which were totally off my radar prior to doing this course. This is a major achievement! I love that there is still ongoing contact with the group after the year is complete, and I also love having all the resources – reading material, books, etc to refer to when I need to. Thank you, Jody and all the group for a life-changing course. (Lana, 48: UK)

 

  • The Online Bee is a game-changer. It carefully and lovingly walks you through 12 different topics over 12 months to help you go deep and unpack your grief. Where there was fear, shame, and darkness prior to starting the Online Bee, there is now joy, love, laughter, and light in my life. Much of my anger has dissipated and the constant feeling of being stuck in a rut has shifted. An unexpected bonus from the program is a few dozen new friendships with women warriors just like me. I highly recommend this program. It is the best gift of self-care you can give to yourself. (Maria, 48: USA)

 

  • When I signed up for the Online Bee, it was in the middle of December and I felt about as dark as the sky looked most of the time – so I knew something had to happen to change my life in some way. I really liked the idea of having ongoing support and liked Jody‘s style of writing and speaking in her videos, so I thought I had nothing to lose by trying the program (especially since you could decide to cancel every month if it is not for you after all). I‘m very glad I signed up because it was a safe space to turn to in a difficult time, and in the end it covered so much more than I expected – it really is an inventory of your entire life. The most important things I got out of the Online Bee is feeling understood and learning to be kind to myself. I felt massive shame and was not even aware of how much I beat myself up about having “failed“ – it was absolutely healing to learn that I am not alone and to feel that I really have done nothing wrong. Looking at meaning and the idea of creating meaning for yourself instead of waiting for it to happen really helped me to look at what can be meaningful for me now, and how I can take tiny steps to get there. It took a while for everyone to get used to interacting in an online group, but it is a great way of having the support when you need it and being able to take things at your own pace and choosing quiet times when you need them. I started out by being very shy about sharing information or even my picture in the first month – and ended up meeting some other Bees in person later in the year and it felt like meeting old friends. The course provides so much material on all areas of life – from the inner critic to your finances and aging without children – that it really feels like the course itself does not end after a year. You get a big toolbox and can go back to it for a long time afterwards. (Wilda, 40: Germany)

 

  • Doing the Online Bee has widened my horizons, given me positive tools to use, and helped me gain a deeper understanding of who exactly I am. The programme gently and expertly guides us through a process of working with the self, which is very accessible. This is something I will remember for the rest of my life. I’ve often watched Jody’s videos thinking “Oh, if only everyone else could hear this”, or “that’s just such a great way to explain how life is for me”. I have made some lovely friends along the way and think we will carry on sharing our lives. There is such respect there now for each of us as sisters of suffering and now healing. I wouldn’t be without it now as my Bee sisters give me exceptional support. (Caroline, 54: UK)

 

  • The first time I heard Jody speak was late at night on a Canadian radio program. Before that moment, I’d been quietly attending to my shame and disappointment with how my life had turned out (childless and partnerless) by going on big adventures, switching to more meaningful work, and putting an enormous amount of resources into self-improvement. Yet despite all my efforts, I still felt on the outside of life, looking in but not quite able to be in it. That night, hearing Jody describe her own journey and Gateway Women, I felt found. Jody’s interview made me understand that there was a tribe and I was already part of it. That alone was enormously comforting. What had felt like deep personal failure was, in fact, something much larger than myself. I went to the Gateway Women website, got Jody’s book and, eventually, joined the online community. All that was a slow and halting process. I’d do some work around it and then back off, dabble in the online community and then take a break. When I heard about the Online Bee program, the self-help junkie in me perked up, but I was reminded of my many past attempts at online programs that I paid for but never got fully invested in, and also my naturally slow pace. I was concerned that a new chunk of work every month would be overwhelming and I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend a whole year focused on my grief and shame. I wanted to escape it, not dive head-long into it! In the end, it was isolation and the desire to feel I was making progress that propelled me to sign up. I needed to not be alone in my childlessness any longer and I needed to feel I was moving along a path in some kind of ordered way with someone leading me. The Online Bee addressed those two things beautifully. I have a sense of connection to the other Bees in my group. I have real, live people across the world that care about how I am doing and want to know how my journey is going. And I care about them too. Through the monthly modules, I was able to systematically address many of the things I’d known needed my attention but, until I had a structure to follow, had been hard to approach. The homework and activities provided the prompts to get me moving and the monthly calls helped me process and digest what I was discovering. At the end of the year’s program (which I stayed involved in right to the end and continue to be involved in as a ‘Graduate Bee’) I feel collected, less scattered and solid in my commitment to keep living and hoping and gently being (or bee-ing, as it were) my way into my Plan B life. (Kate, 43: USA)

 

  • Thinking about joining The Online Bee, I asked myself, “Why would I torture myself with all that old stuff again? It was 30 years ago – it’s not like I’m crying into my cereal every morning anymore. Besides you’re too old to learn how to manage all the tech of an online course. You don’t even do Facebook! And I don’t like the idea of discussing such intimate stuff other than face to face with someone I really trust. It’ll be a bunch of strangers!” But boy was I glad I did. It was hard and confronting but, manage each section as and when you’re able, and you’ll feel able to dream and plan and prioritise and laugh again in ways you’d forgotten you could. If you find your dealings with the world often leave you angry or frustrated or embarrassed, like you’re walking around in a bubble or holding yourself apart, or you go ”offline’ regularly on weekends or say you don’t feel up to it when invited to something – if you drink or eat a little too much and just can’t seem to bring yourself to declutter the stuff that came to you from your parents place when they went into care – then ask yourself: are you managing these dark emotions, or are you just suppressing them? Facing them is hard, but once it’s done the joy of connection and relationships and the wonder of life will be yours. I’m talking about the passage from existence to a life fully embraced. Of the golden side of the coin being burnished because it knows and accepts and is OK to revisit the dark. Go for it – don’t live in the basement of your life any longer. (Sarah, 55: Australia)

 

  • I can’t say enough about the Online Bee! When I found out that Gateway Women’s mentorship course was going to be available online, I knew I had to take it. To be honest, I was very overwhelmed when I first started but I got so much encouragement to keep going and wow – thank goodness I did.  Now, looking back over the year, I wouldn’t be where I am emotionally today without having gone through all the materials, Jody’s videos, and the support of the incredible Bee community. I finally faced my pain and allowed grief to heal me. I can’t say that I am fully “healed” but I now have the tools and the support I need to face each day. For the first time in 12 years, I feel I am learning to hope again…. (Nicole, 41: Canada)

 

  • I did have a bit of an internal struggle signing up to The Online Bee – actually filled out the form three times and never submitted until the fourth! But once I committed to the course I felt relieved knowing I was going to face childlessness head-on. What the course gave me was more than I could have imagined – Finally feeling like I belong, knowing my Bees always have my back unconditionally and being equipped with strategies to respond to insensitive comments/people has allowed me to feel control in settings that used to be almost unbearable at times (work, family, socially, etc. you name it). My mindset has changed with this course and it is refreshing to be able to openly talk about my childlessness, where in the past, I don’t think I knew how. The self-compassion strategies are something I practise every day — they are simply the best!! (Marie, 49: USA)

 

  • Before I found Gateway Women I felt lost, alone, isolated, wistful, sad, stuck, angry…these are some of the words I wrote during an exercise the Reignite Weekend. That weekend gave me a sense of connection and community and I no longer felt alone and isolated. In time and with the continued involvement in the Gateway Women online community, I lost the angry, stuck and lost feelings too. And I learned that being wistful from time to time is OK for me. With all that change and growth I wasn’t sure what more the Online Bee could do for me… turns out a lot!  So many of the topics we’ve explored – self-care, finance, befriending our bodies, social identity and elderhood – are relevant to any woman and I found the 12-month process of monthly reflection has provided an incredibly solid foundation that has given me back courage and hope – the good feelings I’d been missing in my 40s… and particularly the feeling that a world of possibility does again exist for me.  That’s huge! Thank you so much – the stories and activities throughout this program were and are inspiring and comforting. I will always be grateful for Jody for being inspired to develop these supports (Sally, 49, Canada).
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