#WorldChildlessWeek 2017, Day 4: ‘Words That Hurt’

www.worldchildlessweek.comWorld Childless Week has been created by a British childless woman, Stephanie Phillips as a way to highlight the experience, individually and globally, of women and men who are childless not by choice. Each day of World Childless Week has a theme, and the theme for today, Thursday 14th September 2017 is Words that Hurt.

Please find out more, share your thoughts, images, experiences and stories of being childless-not-by choices either below in the comments, on the World Childless Week Facebook page (where most of the activity is taking place this first year), on Twitter at @ChildlessWeek (using the #hashtag #WorldChildlessWeek) or find out more at www.WorldChildlessWeek.com


For today’s theme on ‘Words that Hurt’ I wanted to share with you the TEDx talk I gave at TEDxHull in March 2017 The Lost Tribe of Childless Women in which I explore the classic ‘bingos’ that we’ve all heard, such as:

  • You can always just adopt…
  • Well, I guess if you’d really wanted children you would have tried harder…
  • But I read this article…
  • You’re so lucky you don’t have kids! You get to sleep in, and travel!
  • Oh, kids are more trouble than they’re worth – have one of mine!

TEDx Lost Tribe of Childless Women

And I share what we’re REALLY thinking when people say them to us, well-meaning as they often are…

I also explore the classic, hurtful and reductive stereotypes that are applied to us, such as:

  • Spinster
  • Career Woman
  • Crazy Cat Lady
  • Hag
  • Witch

I gave this talk as a way to introduce my tribe, the tribe of childless women to the world. Please feel free to share it on your social media platforms as a way to educated those dear friends and family who care about us and want to say the right thing, but often get it wrong! Here the link to share it:  https://youtu.be/uufXWTHT60Y

Read more stories and share your own at
www.facebook.com/WorldChildlessWeek

About Jody 91 Articles
Jody Day is a British author, trainee integrative psychotherapist and the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women. She’s a founding member at AWOC.org (Ageing without Children) and a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. She's the author of 2016’s 'Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children' (Bluebird/PanMacmillan). Gateway Women hosts online communities, workshops, retreats, courses, social events and private sessions for childless-not-by-choice women. Jody lives alone in London with her cat, a stereotype that she warmly and humorously subverts.
Contact: Website

1 Comment on #WorldChildlessWeek 2017, Day 4: ‘Words That Hurt’

  1. Something I have found hurtful is getting asked if I am seeing anyone and once I was about 22 and got groped at a bus stop by an old perv who asked me was I married and I said no I wasn’t and got asked why not and I had responded that it was because I was choosy and wouldn’t be picking old pervs like him so he backed off and I reported the incident to the police who were very sympathetic and said no I wasn’t overreacting as someone else might not be so lucky!

    Its bloody rude though to ask someone why or why not are they married and that line of conversation can be very hurtful if someone is sensitive about those topics.

    Another incident was the work Christmas party that I had left early as I was bloody fed up after a conversation about dating and patronising advice about online dating from someone who hadn’t a clue what they were talking about as they had been with their guy since they were 17 and were 32 when this happened and in front of the pub I had shouted well good for you you stupid fat cow and a fight had broken out! I was only making conversation I got told and I turned round and told her well it was a pathetic attempt and to mind her own f ing business in future! One male colleague had said you shouldn’t let people like that upset you and how smug cometh before a fall and how he was 40 before he got married and is now 53 with a 13 year old daughter. I made up having diarrhea as an excuse to leave early and did.

    Turns out the guy was right as a few weeks later the woman and her family ended up evicted by bailiffs as they had been given notice on their rental house but only wanted to stay in the 1 area no looking at other ones so they brought that on themselves really but where there’s no sense there’s no feeling!

    Often with these conversations that upset us the people who do these things often have no clue that these topics can really hurt or they can start them maliciously just to upset you to feel good about themselves.

    I got the last laugh anyway as I will be getting married in 2018 and have a lovely rental and hope to buy soon as I’m not a stupid fat cow only happy when I’m making others miserable!

What's your experience?

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