Resources for childless men

• Dr Robin Hadley is the UK’s leading academic in the area of male involuntary childlessness. You can follow him on Twitter and read this interview with him in Daily Telegraph ‘I know all about broody men, I am one’. 
  He also took part in very moving audio story by Viv Oyolu A Discussion on the Journey Through Childlessness featuring two men and two women which offers a very rare insight into the male experience of childlessness.
• Book: How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness – a Life Course Disrupted (2021) Robin A Hadley. UK: Berghahn Books https://bit.ly/3aa3TfO
• Podcast interview: Male & Childless Not by Choice
• Paper: The lived experience of older involuntarily childless men:http://bit.ly/2rZL1u5
• Paper: Involuntarily childless men and the desire for fatherhood: http://bit.ly/2iMN4RB
• His website is: http://www.robinhadley.co.uk/

Articles about the male experience of childlessness

• I Just Assumed it Would Happen: The unspoken grief of childless men. Robert Nurden interviewed for The Guardian.
• Childless at 52: How sweet it would be to be called Dad. By Declan Fitzsimmons for The Guardian
• The male infertility crisis: ‘My failure at fatherhood ate away at my very being’
• The Untold Grief of Childless Men
• The Agony of Being a Childless Man
• Netdoctor blog:’Think men don’t get broody? Believe me, that’s a myth’!
• What is a Man?
• Men and Infertility, The Times, 16 July 2016
• The agony of being a childless man: Women have talked for years about the longing for a baby. Now would-be dads are sharing their pain
• “It’s like taking a bit of masculinity away from you”: towards a theoretical understanding of men’s experiences of infertility.
• ‘The Pater’ Tells a Story of Childlessness from the Rare Male Perspective
• It’s Not Just Women who are Ostracised for Being Childless
• Why do we never worry about men’s childlessness and infertility?
• They Call You ‘Eunuch’: Constant Pressure for Men to Bear Children
• There’s a pressure on men, too, to be a ‘proper man’ and deliver a child
• Gateway Women, on Solo Street

Father’s Day as a Childless Man

• Dr Robin Hadley, ‘The Unseen Men on Father’s Day: The Impact of Childlessness on Men’s Health and Well-being‘.
• Robert Nurden 2024 Father’s Day guest blog for Gateway Women: ‘Time for Men to Speak Up‘.
• Andy Harrod’s 2021 Father’s Day guest blog for Gateway Women ‘Free-floating: Who am I if I’m not a Dad?’
• Michael Hughes’s 2020 Father’s Day guest blog/vlog for Gateway Women ‘We Are Warriors’ 
• Sheridan Voysey’s 2019 Father’s Day guest blog for Gateway Women on ‘Father’s Day for the Non Father’
• Dr Robin Hadley’s 2018 guest blog for Gateway Women on ‘Coping with Father’s Day as a Childless Man’
• A round-up of resources for childless men on Father’s Day by Walk in Our Shoes
• Jim Biles, the other half of Sarah Lawrence from After the Storm on how men grieve too on Father’s Day
• Childless Men on Father’s Day – by LifeWithoutBaby
• For the childless and parentless this Father’s Day (and those who love them)

Blogs by childless men

Books about male childlessness

• Robert Nurden (2023) I Always Wanted to be a Dad: Men Without Children
  Jody’s review: A much-needed autobiographical exploration from a childless-by-circumstance man as he unravels how and why his desire for fatherhood was thwarted. Tender, illuminating, angry, surprising and deeply vulnerable, it shows that behind every man without children is a complex, and until now, untold story, and as deserving of empathy and respect as those of childless women.
  A man of 72, who always dreamed of becoming a father, explores in memoir form the pain and regret he went through when this didn’t work out. In I Always Wanted To Be A Dad, Robert Nurden unravels the complexities of this neglected issue and shows that the grief of childlessness can affect men as much as women. In the introduction, he prepares the reader for the rawness and honesty of the material. The 17 short chapters, in which humour is never far away, are interspersed with the heartfelt testimonies of other men who also find themselves childless-not-by-choice. A distinction is made between being childless due to circumstances and childless because of infertility. In a series of more reflective passages, the narrative finally arcs away from hurt towards acceptance and a belief in an optimistic future. There is, in addition, a page of acknowledgements and two pages of positive reviews from established fiction and non-fiction authors whose theme is childlessness. The book concludes with an appendix that provides a statistical analysis of the issue as it affects men, plus a comprehensive list of resources and organisations offering support.
  UK: Robert Nurden https://robertnurden.com/i-always-wanted-to-be-a-dad/
• Glenn Barden (2014). My Little Soldiers.
  UK: Createspace
  A novel that tells a bittersweet romantic comedy about male infertility.
  https://glennbarden.com/2015/10/14/my-little-soldiers-novel/

• Dr. Robin A. Hadley (2021) How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness – a Life Course Disrupted.
  UK: Berghahn Books
  The global trend of declining fertility rates and an increasingly ageing population has serious implications for individuals and institutions alike. Childless men are mostly excluded from ageing, social science and reproduction scholarship and almost completely absent from most national statistics. This unique book examines the lived experiences of a hidden and disenfranchised population: men who wanted to be fathers. It explores the complex intersections that influence childlessness over the life course  
  https://bit.ly/3aa3TfO

• Eds. Lynne van Luven and Bruce Gillespie (2008). Nobody’s Father: Life Without Kids.
  Canada, BC: Touchwood Editions.
  This book contains 25 first-person essays from men without children; some by choice, many by chance. It is a rare glimpse into the way that men experience childlessness and precious for that.
  http://bit.ly/2qx0tiB

• Sheridan Voysey (2013). Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams into New Beginnings.
  USA: Thomas Nelson.
  A memoir about the year-long sabbatical that Sheridan and his wife took in Europe as they attempt to draw a line under ten years of failed infertility treatments. This is an excellent book for couples grieving childlessness to, although those who do not share the author’s Christian faith may find it heavy going at times (but still worthwhile!)
  http://bit.ly/2qJQPFC
  http://sheridanvoysey.com/
• Sheridan Voysey (2019). The Making of Us: Who We Can Become when Life Doesn’t Go As Planned
  UK: W Publishing
  Picking up where Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams Into New Beginnings left off, Sheridan helps us process what we can learn about our identities in the face of disappointment and change. Following the example of many a seeker, Sheridan decided to pair his spiritual journey with a literal one: a hundred-mile pilgrimage along the northeast coast of England. Part travel memoir, part pilgrim’s journal, The Making of Us is a quiet story including a chapter-by-chapter reflection guide of trust in God’s leading for our lives, no matter where our paths take us.
  http://sheridanvoysey.com/
• Nicolette De Ridder, and Nick W. (2013) Just The Two of Us: Giving New Meaning to Our Lives Through Dealing with Infertility. UK: Epubli.
  This book is about coping with infertility as a couple. The authors went through a variety of fertility tests and treatments including IVF and ICSI. After six years they pulled the plug and decided it was time to move on and lead a life not ruled by planning around cycles, hormones and fertility attempts. They both wanted their normal lives back but found it hard to grieve over a loss that was not tangible. In this book they both talk openly about all their fertility treatments, coping strategies, adoption procedures, giving up hope of having a family, grieving process, and eventually their acceptance of infertility. This book tells the story from both a female and male perspective. bit.ly/11IhTC7

Film/video about the male experience of childlessness

A short film about the male experience of fertility treatments/childlessness by Rod Silver

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If you have any suggestions about resources we could add, please let me know at jody@gateway-women.com

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