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Let the new shit begin

January 2, 2018 Jody Day 31

There’s something oppressive about New Year, and all these exhortations to become some new version of ourself. I mean, if I had free choice to select which time of the year to mark as ‘New Year’, one that felt like a promising time for us all to ‘start afresh’ it wouldn’t be NOW for goodness sake! For many of us who are childless not by choice, we’ve just survived the longest and trickiest holiday season there is. It started on 31st October with Halloween and has been careering downhill, picking up speed as it’s snowballed through Bonfire Night, Thanksgiving, Sinterklass […]

Never again, you say, after each Christmas…

December 26, 2017 Jody Day 26

Well, we made it through. Another Christmas done. Thank God: any, all or no God. How was it for you? Did you #ReclaimChristmas and shape it into a celebration that suited your life, your situation, your needs as a solo or couple, or did you endure some version of the same old shit you’ve been dealing with these last few years? Each year, from September onwards many childless women’s concerns about the holiday season escalate, many of them discussed publicly on the Gateway Women Facebook page, or privately in our online community, at our free Meetups or in our weekend workshops. The theme […]

#WorldChildlessWeek 2017, Day 5: ‘Will I Ever Get Over Not Having Children?’

September 15, 2017 Jody Day 1

World Childless Week has been created by a British childless woman, Stephanie Phillips as a way to highlight the experience, individually and globally, of women and men who are childless not by choice. Each day of World Childless Week has a theme, and the theme for today, Tuesday 12th September 2017 is We Are Worthy. Please find out more, share your thoughts, images, experiences and stories of being childless-not-by choices either below in the comments, on the World Childless Week Facebook page (where most of the activity is taking place this first year), on Twitter at @ChildlessWeek (using the #hashtag #WorldChildlessWeek) or at www.WorldChildlessWeek.com For today’s theme of ‘We Are […]

#WorldChildlessWeek 2017, Day 1: From Isolation to Connection

September 11, 2017 Jody Day 9

World Childless Week has been created by a British childless woman, Stephanie Phillips as a way to highlight the experience, individually and globally, of women and men who are childless not by choice. Each day of World Childless Week has a theme, and the theme for today, Monday 11th September 2017 is is Childless in… Please find out more, share your thoughts, images, experiences and stories of being childless-not-by choices either below in the comments, on the World Childless Week Facebook page (where most of the activity is taking place this first year), on Twitter at @ChildlessWeek (using the #hashtag #WorldChildlessWeek) or at www.WorldChildlessWeek.com Childless in London: my […]

Can love heal the pain of childlessness? A guest blog by Katherine Baldwin

July 6, 2017 Jody Day 11

“How on earth did I end up here?” I asked as I sat cross-legged on my bed, tears dripping onto my pyjamas. I was 41, single, childless and living alone in a beautiful but empty one-bedroom North London attic flat – no man in the kitchen buttering toast and no grubby little fingers smearing raspberry jam on my John Lewis duvet. The silence was deafening. Fast-forward five years and today I woke up to a different scene – to a smile, a cuddle and a kiss from my fiancé in a house with a garden close to the sea on […]

Childlessness after Miscarriage - a blog by Jody Day for Tommy's Charity

Childlessness after miscarriage: the untold story. A guest blog for Tommy’s charity

July 4, 2017 Jody Day 4

Tommy’s guest blog, 03/07/2017, by Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women Tommy’s is a British charity supporting women and couples through miscarriage, early-term loss, still birth and other pregnancy and birth related difficulties. You can find out more about Tommy’s and read this article on their website here The losses of miscarriage, stillbirth and early-term loss are devastating and still something that women and couples are encouraged to keep to themselves. However, in recent years, high-profile individuals such as Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan and, only this week, British singer Charlotte Church, have chosen to break the taboo by talking of their […]

Book Review: “Dear You: A Letter to my Unborn Children” by Tessa Broad

June 23, 2017 Jody Day 4

Most infertility memoirs end with a miracle baby; Tessa Broad’s book Dear You: A Letter to My Unborn Children, out in the UK on June 29, doesn’t. Instead, it’s a warm, honest and quirky account of her very own miracle; how she found a way to live a happy and passionate life without children. As you can see by my name on the cover quote, I was privileged to review the book ahead of publication. Whether you’re still struggling to find your path to your Plan B, or are out the other side, this is a must-read memoir of one of the […]

Mother is a verb, not just a noun

March 26, 2017 Jody Day 8

This is the text from an address I gave at St Martin’s in the Fields Church, Trafalgar Square, London on Mothering Sunday, 2016. I was so very moved to be asked to contribute OUR voice to this service, which was broadcast live on BBC Radio 4. This is very tender day for so many of us who mourn the children we’ll never know, and have maybe lost our own mothers too. Be gentle with yourself today. And maybe buy YOURSELF the flowers – you deserve them too! Love, Jody x Mother’s in our Hearts Besides Christmas, Mother’s Day (what is […]

US resources

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 2

Gateway Women USA Meetup Group http://www.meetup.com/gateway-women-usa Free, private social Meetup group for towns and cities across the US. To join, first join Meetup.com (if you’re not already a member) and then follow the link below to apply for membership of the Gateway Women Meetup group. Life Without Baby (US) www.lifewithoutbaby.com Lisa Manterfield’s blog, online community, online courses & resources for women coming to terms with life as a childless woman. Lisa is the author of ‘I’m Taking my Eggs and Going Home’. Center for Complicated Grief (US) http://complicatedgrief.org/ Part of the Columbia School of Social Work in New York, The Center for Complicated […]

Australian resources

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

Childless Support www.ChildlessSupport.com Do you feel like you’ve lost your purpose, or come to a fork in the road? Or want to get your health back to a state of balance? Anne Barratt’s journey through Childlessness has led her to become a professional multi-disciplinary health and mindset practitioner to help others so they don’t have to suffer in silence and get the help needed from someone who truly understands what they’re going through from personal experience. Anne offers individual sessions in person (Blue Mountains, Sydney) or via Zoom. The Empty Cradle – a healing community for childless women www.theemptycradle.com Created by counsellor Sarah […]

European resources

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

Gateway Women Benelux http://gatewaywomen.nl/ Karin Enfield de Vries, Gateway Women Operations Director, runs the Gateway Women Benelux site with face to face meetups in Antwerp and Brussels, with Zoom Meetups during the pandemic. If you would like to arrange a European meetup, please contact her directly at karin@gateway-women.com Femme Sans Enfant Meetup (Paris, France) www.meetup.com/Paris-femmesansenfant-com/ Organised by Catherine-Emmanuelle Delisle, the Founder of the Canadian site www.femmesansenfant.com this is a regular Paris based meetup. I met the organiser of the Meetup at a UK event in 2016 and she was lovely, so do go along! (Both French and English speaking women welcome). Books about […]

How to connect with other childless women both online and in your local area

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

How do I meet other childless women in person? Gateway Women hosted hundreds of local ‘meetups’ around the world from 2012-2022. All of these now run via the Childless Collective online community (formerly the Gateway Women online community) and you can find out more and access them here. How do I connect with other childless women online? The Childless Collective community on MightyNetworks. (Global) The first month is free, after which there’s a modest monthly/annual fee or reduced/donation memberships for those who need them. All applications are vetted for member security and privacy. Click here for more info/to access. Nomo […]

Resources for childless men

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

Men Matter Too – In September 2018 World Childless Week started including a dedicated day of programming for childless men called Men Matter Too where you can read blogs, articles and videos created by and for childless men. This continued in 2019 and 2020, both pages full of articles and resources. Academic research into issues of male childlessness Dr Robin Hadley is the UK’s leading academic in the area of male involuntary childlessness. You can follow him on Twitter and read this interview with him in Daily Telegraph ‘I know all about broody men, I am one’. He also took part in very […]

FIND A CHILDLESS THERAPIST, COUNSELLOR OR COACH

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

If you are a therapist or coach and would like to be added to this free listing, the requirements are that: (a) you have lived experience of permanent involuntary childlessness (or are childfree but also work with childless clients);(b) that you have the necessary qualifications to practice; (c) that working with childless clients is (preferably) referenced on your professional website or listing; and (d) that you are either known to Jody already, or are open to meeting her on zoom to get to know each other. If so, please email jody@gateway-women.com UK (alphabetic by surname) Claire Baker – Psychotherapeutic Counsellor […]

Best blogs for childless women

February 24, 2017 Jody Day 0

Recommended blogs on coming to terms with childlessness (in alphabetical order) Chasing Creation (US) www.chasingcreation.org Katy is in her early 40s and writes about creating ‘an unexpectedly childfree life’ after endometriosis and a hysterectomy. Also very active on Instagram. Childless by Marriage (US) https://childlessbymarriageblog.com Writer and musician Sue Fagalde Lick’s book and blog about life as a childless stepmother and now as a childless widow living on her own. One of the very few 60+ voices writing publicly about childlessness. Different Shores (UK) www.differentshores.com An honest exploration of finding and refining a more ‘childfree’ identity after childlessness – “I want to be […]

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