Can we stop making motherhood the defining feature of a woman’s existence? My piece published on Grazia UK

August 7, 2018 Jody Day Childfree, Childless, Pronatalism 14

To read the article in full go to:
https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/can-we-stop-making-motherhood-the-defining-feature-of-a-woman-s-existence/

14 Comments on Can we stop making motherhood the defining feature of a woman’s existence? My piece published on Grazia UK

T. D. Schmidt August 25, 2019 at 00:27

I am sick that ‘As a mother’ can trump degrees, life experience, or skills. It’s as if there is this Social Uno card even more powerful than the reverse card- the cancel card.

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- Jody Day August 27, 2019 at 09:14
  
  Hi TD – yes, the card has the word “Pronatalism” written across it… Read ‘The Baby Matrix’ if you’d like to go deeper? Hugs, Jody x
  
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T. D. Schmidt August 25, 2019 at 00:23

Thank you for putting into words what I couldn’t say. Bad enough, but wait there’s more: not just the primary loss, but then the continuing and multifaceted social stigma and penalties.

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Wendy Ackley August 9, 2018 at 02:01

Great article Jody, thank you for continuing to spread the message….wendy

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Phyllis August 8, 2018 at 10:52

GOOD ON YOU JODY!!Its so reassuring to know that we can count on you to defend us childless gals,It just seems to me that the conservative sectors of society are still clinging on the the last bastions of the patriarchy, and refusing to accept that a woman can be more than a baby making machine.A columnist in Australia wrote a horrific piece stating that she was in her 30’s and better get cracking in her pursuit to have a baby because we all know what society thinks of childless women………………. needless to say I emailed her and gave her absolute hell with the use of a few expletives!. The sisterhood has to continue raising awareness at every opportunity!

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Lolly Poke August 8, 2018 at 07:06

I might use that ‘as a childless woman’ too. I think for some women, having children gives them an identity and makes them feel like they finally ‘fit in’.And they may never have felt that before especially if they’ve swallowed the conventional narrative whole without chewing on it very much. So I can’t blame them for wanting to run with that identity so much as to use it as a fairly frequent marker in conversation.

Great Sarah Millican clip.

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Lisa August 7, 2018 at 20:56

Thank you so very much for your courage in broaching what is, I feel one of society`s greatest taboos. I have read this and many of your other articles over the last few years with much interest and respect. I now no longer feel I am a lone crusader without much of voice when it comes to simply `being` without children for fear of the `well she is just bitter` rebuke on many an issue. I am a management academic and have long thought (through experience) it time to bring this subject to a wider field as it touches on many work related issues, not least the sad deal childless women (be this by design or otherwise) get vis equality being, as we are `ill considered` in many work friendly packages since we slip into a middle space, notwithstanding all those additional societal issues… so you are providing much inspiration- thank you once again for your your wise words and encouragement.

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Helen D August 7, 2018 at 19:12

As ever Jody writes so eloquently on behalf of us without children. I have challenged a couple of people on the ‘as a mother’ comment, and had the pitying looks …you know …’ how could I possibly understand’?!?!

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- Jody Day August 7, 2018 at 20:07
  
  Hi Helen – thanks for commenting and thanks for challenging others on the “as a mother” statement. A woman’s opinion is important because she is a human, not because she is a mother… I think the ubiquity of this statement (did you watch the Sarah Millican extract?!) illustrates exactly why it’s about power and privilege, not motherhood… Thanks, Jody x
  
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Madonna Nolan August 7, 2018 at 18:52

I love this article! It says everything that I feel. I am becoming very tired of always hearing, “as a Mother” at the beginning of every sentence, especially in the media. Frustrating how everything in Hollywood is about who is having a baby, and Facebook about pics of children and grandchildren bring posted with quote, my children or grandchildren are my life. Thank you for this article, Jody Day!

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- Jody Day August 7, 2018 at 18:55
  
  Hi Madonna and thank you. Yes, the ‘As a Mother…’ trope is VERY tiresome. I think I might have some “As a childless woman…” T-shirts made to start shaking things up! Hugs, Jody x
  
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  - Victoria August 7, 2018 at 22:05
    
    Yeah, “being childless doesnt make me less a woman.”
    
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millerrach August 7, 2018 at 18:27

Yes ???????? Jody Day, this is brilliant! And one that I can share with friends and family to give them an insight to my world! Thank you for all that you do to start this conversation!

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- Jody Day August 7, 2018 at 18:32
  
  Thank you for your appreciation! I love the idea of you sharing this with friends and family – it’s time that the world woke up to this one! Hugs, Jody x
  
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