We may not be Mothers but we’re here, we care, we count & we ROCK!!
If you’re childless by circumstance, with those circumstances ranging from infertility through to all kinds of situations such as your partner not wanting children (or already having them), a chronic illness, not being able to find a partner (what is now known as ‘social infertility’), not being able to afford having a baby ‘on your own’ (and not being all that keen about being a solo mother either), thinking you didn’t want children and then realising you did, your relationship breaking down during fertility treatments and a hundred other reasons…
You’re in the right place.
Or perhaps you’re still hopeful of becoming a mother, but the needle on your fertility clock has been in the red for a while and things are looking scarily like you too are going to ‘end up’ as ‘one of those weird women without children’…
You’re in the right place.
Read the blogs and articles on subjects close to our heart – from coping with the changing nature of your friendships, dealing with Christmas, the daft ‘advice’ people give us, coping with the anxiety and panic of ‘the tunnel’, etc.
Join the Sistership! A supportive, intelligent, friendly, compassionate, private online community of women like us from all over the world who ‘get’ what it’s like to a childless woman in a motherhood-obsessed world. I can’t recommend this enough if you’re feeling isolated and a little ashamed about how things have worked out, and aren’t yet ready to ‘come out’ about your situation by attending a workshop
Find out more about Gateway Women workshops and events – our life-changing, friend-making, taboo-busting and unique workshops, retreats, talks, meetups and online events.
Sign up to the Gateway Women monthly newsletter and be the first to hear about new events, workshops and news (as the events sell out very quickly). Don’t worry, I won’t share your details or take over your in-box – I can’t stand it when people who do that to me!
Grab a chair and get a drink. Make yourself comfortable. You’ll probably be here a while…
Welcome to Gateway Women. It’s the club you never wanted to join, but once you’ve got the support you need to get through your grief and out of your isolation, life starts getting fun again. (Yes, I used the “F” word).
It gets better when you have your sisters to share it with. Honest.
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New Workshops & Talks Announced
Talk & Drinks – Mind the Gap: Healing the Rift Between Mothers & Us – Tues 4th June, 7pm – London
So You Don’t Have Kids? Now What – Sunday 9th June (Belfast, UK)
So You Don’t Have Kids? Now What – Saturday 22nd June (Manchester, UK)
I attended the reignite weekend and it was amazing. It was great to find friends who had different stories but the same frustrations, and fears. I was scared of opening up my feelings again and sure enough I cried lots over the weekend but now I feel like a new person and so glad I went to the workshop. Sure I will have bad days but feel like I have friends to talk to now. Thanks so much to my fellow attendees and Jody- you are all amazing.
Gateway May 2013 Reignite weekend was such a supportive and brilliant course – so great to meet and share time with other Gateway women, and it allowed me to challenge myself and see my way forward to my Plan B. Jody brilliantly guided us with great sensitivity and provided a variety and depth of exercises both for helping us to learn to heal and practical foor Plan B – Many many thanks
Reignite-weekend-May-2013-london
I attended this weekend with some ‘butterflies’ but it’s ended up being one of the best things I could have done.
I’m more equipped than before I attended the event for moving on and getting to grips with my plan B.
Best thing though was meeting the other Gateway Goddesses and seeing I’m not alone…
Jody:) This blog and the amazing G+ community you have created have truly saved me. No ‘infertility’ blogs every resonated with me while we were on our journey. They all seemed too ‘baby or bust’ and I knew there had to be another option. And this is the option for me, living a full and wonderful life without kids. I am complete without kids – despite what the majority of society tells us. I cannot thank you enough for your continued inspiration, support, and humour. The blog and community have helped me more than I can say. While I know this journey has just begun to feeling complete – I know where I am headed and that is in good part because of Gateway Women and the inspiration I have found here:) Thank you!
I never thought I’d say that a website had changed my life, but this one has. My friends will attest to the fact that I’ve been a happier, freer person since joining the Gateway Women community a few weeks ago – not because it’s taken away the pain of being childless, but because I no longer feel alone with the pain; I’m connected to hundreds of women from across the globe who understand, who comfort, inspire and laugh with one another. Jody Day has done something very important.
Hi there Jody!
You are a real inspiration to ALL WOMEN!
Thank you for creating this group and the blog for so many of us who can relate to the subject issue!
I’m looking forward to meeting you and other women in London on the 9th April.
Lots of love,
Linda Bradley.
I was feeling particularly alone and a bit “weird” at the age of 40 when I decided to do a search for others in my situation last summer. Up came Gateway Women and Jody’s fantastic blogs. I shed a few tears reading them and the responses from other women on here, and I still do, because this is a painful place to be. But through joining the G+ forum I am gradually overcoming my shame about not being a mum, and have found so much support and hope. Thanks Jody and the Gateway Women everywhere. x
I too have felt heart ache with hope increasing every month and then only to find I crash and burn when my hope fades as my monthly period arrives ripping hope from me. I can empathise with having turned 40 last year, how it used to feel extreme to hear of these emotions but as months tick by you feel more and more helpless and with that I look at my adorable husband (who i am thankful for everyday) only to feel inadequate as both a wife and a woman when it appears I cannot fulfil the dream I always wished for. My sister has recently had twins (assisted fertility as she’s in a same sex relationship) I feel only love for her which is a blessing as during her pregnancy I worried i’d battle with my emotions. Thankfully I’m not bitter but would be lying if I wasn’t honest to say I do question outcomes and feel that life can be cruel…. I still live in hope at 40 but have given myself till 43 so for me forums like this are important to know support is out there and for that ladies I salute you and good luck to all in our individual journeys …. Be strong xx
I have found being childless quite lonely, and it often feels very awkward talking to people about it. This community has shown me that I am not alone, my spectrum of feelings are normal and that I can have a great life without children. Thank you ladies, you rock!
hi my mum gave me the write up in woman’s own to read,
well what can I say apart from every thought and feeling that was written on those pages felt like every one ive ever felt and still feel, I always thought children of my own were going to be part of my life but was never ment to be and that rips my heart out, thankyou for not making me feel so alone. I just hope that some woman who have been blessed with children read this article and think about it just for a few moments!
Hey I just read about you in the “Woman” magazine today and thought finally someone who understands and is standing proud. I’m 47 and have come to terms with not having a child and accepting that biologically one won’t be around soon. It isn’t a position I envisaged either and it’s so comforting to know that there are others out there. In my worst days of depression I used to think that all that was left was the long tunnel leading towards death and I would be just heading down there on my own. I have lots of interests and like to do things, but it is hard when people are busy with their families. I really do believe that there must be lots of interesting, vital women out there who have no children but still want to live a full active and satisfying life. I just can’t wait to one day meet some of you! Thanks for doing this. It is so hard living in a world which does not want to accept you at times and having to actually justify yourself to people because you never had a child! Or worst still the assumptions that you must be a hard nosed career woman, selfish or a child hater! One thing that has really helped me enormously is getting a dog! Seriously I love her to bits. She is my little fur baby! Sending love to you lady! x
Before I found Gateway Women and started sharing and connecting with other women my self esteem was at rock bottom, I felt I had failed at life after spending 15 years trying to have a child. As well as connecting through the online forum I also took part in a Reignite weekend. Meeting other women who “got me”, listening to their stories and being listened to by them was amazing. I now have a sense of real hope for the future. Gateway Women has given me my life back – in fact it’s given me a new life and although I don’t know what path it will take I know it will be filled with new GW friends and experiences. Instead of that huge mountain and pressure to do something big, now I see a whole heap of possibilities and opportunities.
As Jody says – it’s the club you don’t want to join but when you do you’ll find that we actually all rock!!
I have only been a member of Gateway Women for a short time and already it has had a profoundly positive impact upon my life. It wasn’t until I joined this amazing, supportive community that I was truly able to start coming to terms with my childlessness. Many thanks to Jody and all the other brilliant Gateway Women.
I can’t describe the massively positive effect finding GW and attending a re-ignite weekend has had on my outlook, my life, my relationships, my ability to smile at babies and their mums again!
I made it my new year resolution to do something active in dealing with being childless so that I wouldn’t turn into the witch from Hansel & Gretel. I am so on the way now with a clear plan B and a real positive frame of mind so much of the time.
Thank you to everyone involved in GW, especially Jody, and if you’re in this position and you didn’t want to be or mean to be then we’re all here for you. We’re in it together. That is what makes the biggest difference. One, some, or all of us have felt how you feel, thought what you think, and been where you are. GW is the massive support we need to move forward. At last.
Jody Day, you and the Gateway Woman are rocking my world! I feel like I’ve been lifted out of a very dark place and placed inside a safe, loving and inspirational community. Thank you just doesn’t cover it, but thank you so very much.