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Best friends forever? With childlessness, not always…

December 18, 2013 Jody Day 13

Perhaps one of the most unexpected, and hardest, parts of being a childless woman was coming to terms with the fact that I not only lost the family I longed for, but that I also lost my peer group. It took me a very long time to realise what was happening, as I was so in denial about my infertility (I never actually even identified as ‘infertile’, I was just ‘trying to conceive’) that I was quite happy for everyone else to have children – after all, I knew for sure that I’d be joining them soon… It wasn’t until […]

50 Ways Not To Be A Mother…

September 6, 2013 Jody Day 64

Although many people who don’t know our story may imagine that we either actively chose not to have children or couldn’t have them due to infertility, there are many ways to end up childless without actively choosing it: Being single and unable to find a suitable relationship from your mid-thirties onwards. Being ignorant about your fertility and not realising that after 35 it’s half what it was at 25, and that by the time we’re 40 we have only a very small number of viable eggs left. The age that many women think they need to worry about is 40, […]

You’re not crazy, you’re grieving

March 27, 2013 Jody Day 36

Do any of the following sound like you? You find yourself hiding out in the bathroom at the office because of your colleagues’ endless babytalk… You walk home alone across town, in the freezing rain, just to get away from your ‘last’ childless friend’s announcement of her ‘miracle’ pregnancy… You avoid family events and spend most of your cash on holidays and retreats abroad during the Christmas season… You snap and bitch at your partner so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if they left you… You’ve given up dating all together… You couldn’t give a shit what you look […]

Menopausal Mojo: why being post-fertile is yet another taboo to bust!

August 11, 2012 Jody Day 20

This article was written in 2012 Perhaps one of the things that’s surprised me most about coming to terms with my childlessness is how it’s impacted every area of my life: my identity, my dreams and my hopes. And one of the most unexpected shifts has been in my ideas about intimate relationships. I was with my ex-husband for 16 years, and both before and after that had serious, long-term relationships. Really, from the ages of 15-45 I had sex and heteosexual relationships on the brain. And now, aged 48, and four years into accepting that my quest for motherhood […]

No children? Not welcome.

July 10, 2011 Jody Day 5

In today’s Observer (10 July 2011) buried at the back behind the lengthy reports of what, in time I presume will come to be called Murdoch-gate or some such thing, is an article by Tracy McVeigh called ‘Single, female, 45-plus: life, love and friendship for women of ‘a certain age.’ Now, I’m never entirely sure what this ‘certain age’ is… I’ve always, from a mixture of vanity, denial and naivety presumed it to be ‘a bit older than me’.  But, turning 47 in the next few weeks I guess that… Tag! I’m it. On the whole, I’ve never been too […]

Hell hath no fury like an empty womb

May 7, 2011 Jody Day 17

Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understands what it’s like to be driven mad by the whole ‘baby’ issue is all it takes for the pressure to ease, just a little. For someone to reach their hand down to you as you sit in a funk in your dank, dark tunnel and let you know that they understand.  It’s good to know you’re not alone, but still… You’re so mad you could spit. When the number on your fertility speedometer reads 35, or maybe the needle’s pushing 40, 41, 42… the scream in your head can be so damn loud […]

‘Why Does Dismantling Pronatalism Even Matter?’ Jody Day interviewed on New Legacy Community Radio [June 2022]

June 19, 2022 Jody Day 0

NEW LEGACY COMMUNITY RADIO 7 June 2022 – ‘Why Does Dismantling Pronatalism Even Matter?” Founder of New Legacy Institute, Christine Erickson, interviews Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women. Click here to listen to episode or search ‘New Legacy Radio’ wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find New Legacy Insitute on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn. ABSTRACT Excluded from policy measures and absent in DEI frameworks, even where laws and policies are designed to prevent discrimination based on family status, pronatalism is so deeply engrained in our social, professional and systemic psyches, that its impact remains unacknowledged. As a result, […]

‘Spinsterhood Reimagined’ – Jody Day interviewed by Lucy Meggeson [May 2022]

June 5, 2022 Jody Day 1

Lucy Meggeson is a British writer and broadcast producer (who really should have been on this side of the microphone before as she has a lovely voice!) and is on a mission to reclaim the word ‘spinster’. She has no children and although she now feels ‘childfree’, making peace with that was not without pain, as she shares with me in this interview. We also talk about the work it takes to construct a new idenity as a woman without children in our pronatalist society, and how this can be as transformative as becoming a mother yet remains unrecognised by […]

[March 2022] “Social Infertility & the transformative process of grief with Gateway Women Founder, Jody Day” – Geeta Pendse’s 1 in 5 Podcast [audio + transcript]

March 17, 2022 Jody Day 0

Geeta Pendse is a British journalist and TV presenter and her podcast features stories and topics relating to both childless and childfree women.  You can listen to Jody’s episode 7 here or search ‘1 in 5 – Leading a Life Without Children’ wherever you get your podcasts. You can connect with Geeta on Twitter @geetapendse and Instagram @geetapendse. Do also check out episode 1 with Gateway Women facilitator, author and activist for childless women of colour, Yvonne John. FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW Geeta:  Hello, welcome to the 1 in 5 podcast, a space to explore all sides of leading a life […]

Jody interviewed on the Primal Happiness Podcast, December 2021 [Audio + Transcript]

December 28, 2021 Jody Day 1

Click here to listen to the show. Full transcript below.  WRITTEN TRANSCRIPT BELOW Intro: You’re listening to The Primal Happiness Show, a podcast dedicated to helping you thrive in this crazy modern world. Every Tuesday we explore the nature of how our minds really work. What exactly the human-animal requires to thrive and how we can live happier and more fulfilling lives. If you’re new here and haven’t yet taken our free class, then there’s no better place to get a jumpstart on reclaiming your primal happiness. It’s where we’ll guide you step by step through our antidote to today’s […]

Watch ‘Solstice Fireside Wisdom with Childless Elderwomen’: Recorded 21st Dec 2021

December 9, 2021 Jody Day 1

RECORDED LIVE ON ZOOM ON TUESDAY 21ST DECEMBER 2021 Since we first came together for World Childless Week in 2020, the #NomoCrones (nomo = not-mother & crone is not an insult!) have been meeting each solstice and equinox for a series of informal online zoom gatherings called ‘Fireside Wisdom with Childless Elderwomen‘. To find out more about our ‘Gateway Elderwomen’ project and to watch previous sessions, click here. To sign up to our mailing list to make sure you don’t miss the session planned for March 2022, click here. December Solstice 2021: ‘Spiritual Malnutrition’ For December 2021’s Solstice Session, we’re […]

Jody Day interviewed by Laura Behnke for ‘The Life Actually Podcast’ on childlessness across the life course; working to deshame ourselves as part of healing; how understand the grief process helps us deal with all of life’s changes and much much more! (Audio + Transcript)

October 14, 2021 Jody Day 3

[October 2021] Jody Day interviewed by Laura Behnke for ‘The Life Actually Podcast‘ in which we discuss, amongst other things: the data around the numbers of childless/free women, and why it’s on the rise; about shame as a powerful tool of social control; about how not having children means you also won’t get to be a grandmother either; about my own unplanned pregnancy and abortion at 20 and how this is a hidden part of many women’s stories, both mothers and childless women; about how our childhood experience of being mothered may influence our later thoughts about becoming mothers ourselves; […]

Jody interviewed on ‘That Grief Relief Podcast’ with Katie Overy on friendships, dealing with awkward questions, grandchildren-grief, the fetishization of motherhood, holding ourselves back in life whilst ‘waiting’ for motherhood, the unrecognized, unsupported and unspoken nature of ‘disenfranchised grief’ and more…

September 10, 2021 Jody Day 1

September 2021: Jody Day interviewed by Katie Overy for her ‘The Grief Relief Podcast’. The clip above is about how Jody answers intrusive questions about whether she has children. You can listen to the full episode here in which Katie (who is childfree by choice) and I discuss my story, about the experience of the disenfranchised grief of childlessness, about the bingos that childfree women experience as well as childless women, about my new ‘conscious childless elderwomen’ project, about the shifting nature of friendships when you’re childless and your friends all have kids and how this can shift again when […]

World Childless Week 2021 Free Masterclass: Childlessness & Sexual Intimacy (Tues 14 Sep, 7pm UK time)

August 9, 2021 Jody Day 0

RECORDED ON TUESDAY 14TH SEPTEMBER 2021, 7PM UK TIME FOR WORLD CHIDLESS WEEK 2021 Since we hosted the Gateway Women Masterclass on Childlessness & Sexual Intimacy in May 2021, it’s proven to be one of our most popular and most watched discussions. It was an incredible experience for us to Host and for the Panellists to take part in too. So, when the discussions about this year’s World Childless Week ‘themes’ came up, we suggested that this should be one of them and it is. Tuesday 14th September 2021 is ‘Childlessness & Sexual Intimacy’ Day for World Childless Week. This […]

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